It saddens me to see several of my friends post that they are stepping away from social media because the toxicity has become too much. First, good for them for being able to walk away, but these are good people who spread a message of positivity. They participate in communities that are designed to be a fun escape and meant to expand ideas and the way we think. I support them for knowing when enough is enough, but that still makes me sad that we are living in a social media world where a toxic, negative, and hate thrive and drive good out. So, what can we do about that? Here are a couple things that have helped me. I am no counselor or doctor. I am not an expert on social media behavior, so take this for what it is worth.
I try to check myself first. When I make a post, I ask myself these questions: Is this meant to encourage, build-up, continue a conversation or create positive change? Social media is intended for the user to share with friends and family. I don't know what everyone else learned, but when I was a kid, sharing always had a positive connotation. I will share my cake. I will share the blocks I am playing with. I will share my friendship. Sharing never meant doing bad. So, I make the extra effort that when I share, I do my best to ensure it is the good that I am sharing.
Second, when someone does think that they need to share hate, negativity or toxic ideas, I don't accept it. I don't have to read that post! I don't have to reply to negativity! That is not my obligation. Quite frankly, I just ignore it....okay, it's not that easy, but I'm human so that is what I try to do. It is true though; I am not obligated to participate in someone's negativity.
If we are faced with toxicity, hate, intolerance we should block it. There is a difference between toxicity and differing points of view. We should resist blocking those who simply have views different that ours. We need to know what others are thinking. It helps us to balance our own beliefs, and we do need to be open-minded. The negativity, hate, toxicity are attacks; we don't have to accept that. There are sensible people out there who have civil ways of presenting the "other side" of the argument. These are people who value the discourse. Here is an example, I have a friend who loves the original Star Wars trilogy but absolutely thinks the rest of the main films are garbage. We don't agree, but he doesn't spew hate and venom about it. He has his reasons and that is great! We have some really interesting conversations, usually with a beer in hand, and we walk away maybe a little closer to the middle in agreeing on things. And that is totally cool. Find those people in your fandom, in politics, and anywhere else you struggle with the toxic culture.
I hope this brings some clarity.
Finally, I would like to state I would never advocate hate, hurt, or intolerance of others. Period. However, I do want to suggest that it is possible to be friends with those who may not share our beliefs. We are better than the close-minded idea that we can only associate ourselves with those who share our exact beliefs. I can understand my friend's position, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with it. I have lots of friends who don't share my political, religious, moral, pop culture, and sports values, but we work through it. And that is okay. We need to continue to build a positive culture online and in our own lives by building community, understanding, and civility.
** These ideas are my own opinion and no reflection of any other entity I am affiliated with.
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